OneSicPuppy

Before I start, notice the **OSP WARNING** in the title. For all you bitchy whiners out there, that warning IS FOR YOU!!! If you don't want to read a lengthy, typical OSP post, LEAVE NOW!!!

As always, mandatory OSP cliffs at the bottom of the next post (lol, yeah, it's a 2 part post haha).

W/ that being said....

My family's annual (27th annual, to be exact) bbq/party is tomorrow night. Because of that, I've been over here at my parents' house helping get things set up for it (we got some new outdoor speakers and I'm mounting those, helping clean up, etc., etc.).

Well last night at about 2 am, just as I'm in that in between state of being asleep and awake and 2 seconds from passing out, one of the beagles that we have starts howling like someone's breaking in. This is nothing new... they tend to howl at everything and anything. I figured my parents heard them and were going to put the dogs inside for the night. After about a minute of her howling, naturally the OTHER 2 dogs we have start barking and howling as well. I realized that my parents are dead asleep and aren't hearing them so I got up and proceeded to head downstairs to beat these bitches into submission and get them to be quiet for the night.

I get about halfway down the stairs and I notice something out of place... through the window in the front of the house, I see 4 people standing in my driveway. Unsure of what they are doing (but knowing it CAN'T be good considering they are most likely the punk kids that live across the street, it's 2 am, etc.), I haul ass down the rest of the stairs to the front door. As I'm flying down the stairs, one of the kids sees me through the window and starts taking off up the street.

I open the front door, bolt outside, and then these 2 girls start taking off as well up the street. The fourth and last kid realized he was up shiit's creek and just stood there like a deer in headlights. As soon as I get outside, I screamed out at the top of my lungs "WHAT THE FVCK ARE Y'ALL DOING!?!?!?" The kid didn't, or rather COULDN'T (out of fear lol), say ANYTHING. I see him start heading for my 350Z that's parked in the street and that's when I balled up my first and start heading to cut him off thinking he was trying to steal the car or damage it or something. That's when I realized the ENTIRE car and the front of the house and trees and everything are COMPLETELY covered w/ toilet paper. This, of course, just enrages me EVEN MORE. On Wednesday, I paid $75 to have a detail job done on the car...

I start laying into this kid pretty hard (only verbally) and this kid starts to freak out and shake uncontrollably from the adrenaline rush. At this point he's not saying a single word... he's just grabbing fist fulls of TP off of the Z as fast as he possibly can. He's so nervous, shaking, (what looked like) crying, etc. that he can't get his shiit together and it takes him like 5 mins to clean off ONLY the hood.

Frustrated and pretty pissed, I then tell him to go get his friends to help him clean off all the shiit off my car and the house. I tell him he's got 30 seconds to get them all back to help or I'm calling the cops. He gets the 2 girls back, but the 4th kid (some dude... no, not Gleen lol) is hiding and refuses to come out or even answer to this other guy's pleading to come out and help. I'm looking at these 2 girls and realize they are SUPER young... the boy was young, but these 2 girls are WAAAAY young. I ask them how old they are and they both say they're only 11 yrs old. WTF? The boy says he's 16...

At this point, my parents are finally up and awake and my dad comes hauling ass outside (well, "hauling ass" is relative to his 6' tall, 275 lb self lol). He starts laying into the kids pretty good as well. After he calms down after a minute, he and I are standing in the middle of the street watching them clean this crap up and trying to figure out what we're going to do about all this. I then ask them where they live... the boy simply POINTS to the house directly across the street because he STILL can't really talk out of fear lol. The 2 girls then start babbling about how none of them live there and are only sleeping over, the kid that bolted up the street is the only one that actually lives there, blah blah blah.

My dad goes across the street and starts banging on the door and ringing the doorbell non-stop. For 5 minutes straight he's banging on the door, ringing the doorbell, and screaming at the top of his lungs trying to get them to come outside, face the music, and do something about their shiithead kids. But of course, there's no fvcking answer... I then look at one of the girls and just screamed out "HEY! YOU! Come here NOW!" She immediately starts balling like a little bitch w/ a skinned knee and reluctantly comes over to me crying and all. I tell her to go inside the house and get her parents outside right that second so we could have a "little chat" w/ them.

She takes off to get her parents and I then turn to the boy and tell him he's got 30 seconds to get the other boy who STILL hadn't come back to get over to my property to clean up all this shiit or else I'm calling the cops on him. He FINALLY starts talking and is begging and pleading for me to NOT call the cops, is telling me that they will clean up every last shred of TP, etc. He's screaming out for this other guy (Noah is his name) to come back IMMEDIATELY or the cops are being called. He then starts screaming out that he's acting like an immature little bitch (I don't think he understood why I was laughing... the utter irony of HIM calling the other guy an immature bitch had me rolling lol).

This other boy, Noah, STILL refuses to come out of hiding so I tell this other guy to keep cleaning up and if all the TP isn't cleaned off the car and out of the trees and whatnot w/in 10 minutes, the cops WILL be here and they are fvcked. He's TOTALLY tripping balls at this point, literally begging me NOT to call them, etc. My mom is standing inside and screaming out through the window "Tough shiit kid! You should have thought about all of that BEFORE y'all decided to mess w/ us! The cops are ALREADY on their way, buddy!"

At this point, his cell phone starts ringing and he has the balls to stop picking up all the TP and answer it. After a minute or so, he then looks to me, holds out the phone, and says "Hey bro, tell this girl that we are probably NOT going to be able hang out tonight because of all that's happening." I grab the phone and on the other end is some chick that sounds TOTALLY stoned off her ass. I tell her that her boy is fvcked 3 ways til Sunday, the cops are on the way (which they weren't really but intimidation is soooo much fun lol), and that he and his 3 friends are all looking at spending the night in juvenile hall. She's totally dumbfounded and can't comprehend WTF is going on and why the could POSSIBLY be going to juvie. I then start listing all the shiit they could get pinned with: trespassing, vandalism, disturbing the peace, destruction of property, littering, and loitering. That's when the REAL gravity of the situation sets in and the boy and the other girl starts crying. My mom is still standing inside the house and is cackling like the evil bitch that she is lol.

Finally, the girl comes out w/ her mom into the street. This woman is there by herself w/ 4 kids... the dad is away on business or something. She was dead asleep, TV on full blast, and had ear plugs in to keep the noise of these 4 shiitheads out. GREAT parenting. Heaven forbid one of them was hurt or someone decided to rob the house or something... dumb fvck

Her and my dad are sitting there talking while I'm supervising these 3 kids cleaning up all this shiit in the yard. Every once in a while they all start screaming for this Noah kid to grow a pair and come out of hiding and help... the mom is even yelling at him to come out.

After about 15 mins of half assed cleaning up, my dad and I tell them to just go home and to finish in the morning. It's late, everybody is yelling, we got neighbors, etc... no need to piss off anybody else and actually get the cops up there.

My parents and I then sit in the front living room looking out the window to see if this Noah kid is ever coming home. Dad eventually went back to bed and my mom and I sat there for a good half hour... he still hadn't come home. Oh well... we all went to bed.

This morning, we all woke up, got the digicam out, and started taking pictures of all the crap that was left over. We looked in the garbage can where they had been throwing away all the TP and saw about 3 dozen eggs in there as well... turns out I came outside last night JUST IN TIME before they started egging the cars and house.

We all had a chat w/ the mom and the kids, the Noah kid had eventually come home but was so spineless that he couldn't even look us in the eye. We get them back over in the daylight to finish cleaning up and the mom goes ballistic w/ how crappy of a job they had done last night and w/ all the damage and whatnot that they had done. She damn near starting beating one of the girls... even I was dumbfounded by it all.

It took them about an hour to clean up everything. They had to get on the roof to clean up all the TP off of there, it took them a while to get all the shiit out of the trees and grass, etc. The mom then told them to wash the 350Z but I stopped them and told them not to because I didn't want them scratching it or doing any MORE damage to it.

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OneSicPuppy

The mom came inside (she wanted to exchange numbers in the even that anything MORE happened in the future) and that's when we started talking a bit. Turns out that the Noah kid is hers, one of the girls is her step daughter, the 16 yr old boy and the other girl were just friends staying over, and earlier that night, they had asked her if they could TP someone. She told them not tonight and that if they WERE going to TP someone, the parents of the ppl there were gonna hit were going to be made aware of it BEFORE they did anything so they didn't get the cops called on them, so that they understood it was 100% a prank, that it would be cleaned up the next morning, etc. But, like I said, she had told them NOT to do it to ANYONE last night and before arrangements had been made. So much for them listening to her....

Her and I continued talking and I started telling her about their OTHER son (18 yrs old) and all of his shiithead friends. They are ALWAYS out front w/ their engines idling (most of them are ricers so it's annoying as fugg), radios on full blast, they are screaming, laughing, yelling etc. all hours the night, blah blah blah. A couple of times I screamed out the window for them to STFU and take it inside and I of course got called a bitchy old man that needed a walker and other crap lol. I told her about all this and now her 18 yr old son is in some shiit, he's no longer allowed to have friends over past like 10 pm, her youngest (the Noah kid) is grounded for 6 months (he just got off of being grounded for 4 months for stealing his dad's Lexus for the night when his parents were out of town lol), etc.

We exchanged numbers that way if her kids are making noise or if any other problems occur in the future, we can give her a call and get it all sorted and worked out w/out anybody getting arrested, cops getting called, or kids getting their asses beat. She said she was surprised I didn't back hand the kids last night and that's when I told her that, to be honest, I was 2 seconds from beating the fvck out of that 16 yr old boy for fvcking w/ the car and house. That's when the shiithead said he would have called the cops on me (he grew balls all the sudden lol) and had me arrested. Although I would have been for hitting a minor, I shut him up pretty quick and made him think otherwise because they were vandalizing my property, trespassing, etc. and that I had the right to defend my property, person, etc. and could hit him legally. He believed me lol.

Anyway, the mom made the kids write an apology letter... here it is heh:

[IMG]http://www.****************/ims/u/2421/4578/184718.jpg[/IMG]

Notice one of those kids' names? Michael Kelso? Haha isn't that one of the characters (Ashton Kutcher's) from That 70's Show? lol. BTW, on the other side of this apology letter is an add for housecleaning haha. They couldn't even get a new, clean sheet of paper


**MANDATORY OSP CLIFFS**
Last night, the dog started barking. I go downstairs and see through the window that 4 kids are TPing my car and house. I catch them in the act, 3 of them bolted to go hide, 2 eventually came back, the last one was so spineless that he refused to come out of hiding. Got their mom out of bed after my dad was banging on the door for 5-10 mins w/ no answer and I sent one of the kids to go get her. She was wearing ear plugs (GREAT parenting... heaven forbid something REALLY bad had happened to her kids... she wouldn't even have a clue anything was going on lol) and was oblivious to everything. Last night and today they had to clean up all the TP in the trees, on the roof, driveway, and grass. They were also planning on egging the house but I caught them before they could. They were all scared so shiitless that they all were crying at one time or another. I almost ended up beating the shiit out of them last night and one of the kids reminded me that I would go to jail for hitting a minor but then I convinced him (and I know I'd still go to jail for it, but he didn't know that lol) I had the right to do so because they were trespassing, vandalism, disturbing the peace, destruction of property, littering, and loitering, etc. lol. What a dumb shiit. ~Fin~

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Brian Peppers

/starts novel.

ls1less

good god

OneSicPuppy

wtf happened to your posts? lol

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Brian Peppers

They're always tryin to bring the white man down here

OneSicPuppy

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BlackVenom96

i normally read your long ass posts, but this one..... this one takes the cake dude. im not reading all that ****.

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MWGC #4006

Brian Peppers

Well that was a nice story, and glad to see that you didnt go to prison!

OneSicPuppy

Me too... those little fvckers got me damn close to throwing a punch last night... and that little spineless shiit Noah SEVERELY pissed me off today.

Point blank (and in front of his mom lol), I asked him why he bitched out and took off up the street leaving his fvcking friends to clean up HIS MESS. He couldn't look me in the eye, didn't say a single word, etc. I told him to man up, grow a fvcking pair, and stop being a little, spineless, sheepish bitch. His mom's jaw was on the floor when I said all that haha.

Good times.

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Brian Peppers

Sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do

BlackVenom96

it turned her on and she was waiting for you to skull **** her.

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MWGC #4006

Alex

great thread john

you pwnd them, and i hope more neighbors were like you

all the ones here just hold grudges and mad dogg

sp:

HEMITHS

god damn

that is the longest post I have evar seen. evar. 10/10 pulitzers.

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GT35 STi

anyone got a cliff notes version of his cliff notes...?


that is by far the longest post ever...

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powerstroke01

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01BlueStang

The only thing of that whole post that stood out was the name Michael Kelso..

Brad96StangGT

The latest Harry potter book is shorter than this shiit.....

MDubFoLyfe

holy crap this is the first time I think it took 2 full posts to get the story out

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