Mustang Forum - Mustang World - Vancouver peeps, or those that have been there

08-29-2007, 06:27 PM

00_GeeTee

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Vancouver peeps, or those that have been there

OMFG I'm dying here reading uncylopedia's description of Vancouver:

Quote:

One of the first three cities in Canada was Vancouver, the other two being Desolation Sound and Conception Bay. Vancouver, or commonly known as Hippiecouver, Coffee House, or Vansterdam, is located in the South-North of British Columbia. This name is due to the incredible amount of pot located there. I mean, if you ever go, it is totally legal here dude. No, seriously man.

Quote:

Vancouver was discovered during World War III when a bomb heading for China missed by a few hundred miles. The legend goes that the only survivors were a Chinese man and woman who landed in Vancouver on a piece of shrapnel. They bred countless children and that's why today you can see Chinese people EVERYWHERE you go. Except the water.

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Have you ever wondered why Vancouver is so bilingual? Wait- let me rephrase that- 60% chinese and the rest bilingual. There we go. God it's annoying.

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Vancouver, BC has a running dispute with Vancouver, Washington over which should be considered the 'true' Vancouver. This tension has often spilled over into the international arena, and has been the cause of several attempts at invasion from one city or the other, neither of which has been especially successful.

Ironically, the two cities have many things in common:

* The citizens of both cities often cross the border in order to get tax breaks.
* Nobody in either town has especially good personal hygeine.
* The economy of both cities relies heavily upon exporting illegal substances.

These similarities have led many to speculate that Vancouver, Washington and Vancouver, BC are really one and the same city, separated by thousands of years of time. Recently, the Vancouver, Washington city council narrowly passed a measure to change the name of the city to Vancouver, AD.

Interesting Facts

Quote:

* The city proclaims to have the largest amount of dirt per person
* Was declared a "van-free" zone by Greenpeace in 1987
* Has never had a population greater than Fish
* Is a leading city in the introduction of stairs
* There is a vortex of "Suck" coming from an area near Southlands. The cause is believed to be Christopher Bence
* Produces an alcohol-free scotch under the brand name "Smotch"
* Stole the recipe for Nanaimo bars
* Dolphins escape via the Sea-to-sky highway when Vogons arrive
* The city where water was discovered for a hundredth time
* A locale that has seen many an astronomy experiment turn frisky
* If some guy walks by you saying "pot, weed, doobies, weed, dope..." ***FOLLOW HIM***
* UBCers constantly sit around staring into space
* UBCers are Harvard rejects
* SFUers frequently get the finger
* SFU really means "So F*ing Useless"
* Jimmy Pattison clubs baby seals and wears their furs
* Kristen HAS shown me her tits
* Me too
* But not me
* Daniel is a biological phenomenon, the only male with a vagina
* Has so many per-capita Starbucks that new locations must now open inside the restrooms of existing locations!
* Is the only place on earth where no one has seen the sun in 5 years, caused by the natural phenomenon called rain.

Safe-Injection Sites

Quote:

Former Vancouver Mayor Nicholas Campbell (** Note: The current mayor is some guy in a wheelchair ... rumoured to be none other than Stephen Hawking from a parallel universe) began a program of safe injection sites for homeless Starbucks addicts (who account for roughly 79% of the population in the downtown east-side). In safe injecions sites, Starbucks addicts are permitted to inject Tim Hortons' double doubles into their bodies through safe, sterile needles. These safe injection sites include:

* clinics
* community support centres
* fast food restaurant bathrooms
* GM Place
* Dark Alleys
* Tim Hortons locations
* On the corner of Main and Hastings in broad daylight
* Your front lawn
* Your neighbours front lawn
* The hood of your car
* Canada Place
* BC Place
* Canucks dressing room
* Skid Row
* Your hotel hallway
* In front of the police station
* Pretty much everywhere else
* Other

Last edited by 00_GeeTee : 08-29-2007 at 06:30 PM.

08-29-2007, 06:28 PM

00_GeeTee

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Join Date: Apr 2007

Posts: 10,567

Surrey:

Quote:

Surrey, British Columbia, is the armpit of Canada (not to be confused with Surrey, England, the crotch of Great Britain). Its population consists mostly of prostitutes, high school students on meth and burnt out construction workers (sampling methods used to reach these statistics consisted of randomly groping 1 out of every 100 people who got on the 321 bus from Surrey Central Station to the Newton Exchange). Marijuana is not only legal to possess and grow, but has actually been used as legal tender since the decline in value of the Canadian five dollar coin (pentooney) to less than that of $0.01 USD. The primary diet of Surrealists (as they like to be called; see Trivia) consists of Dairy Queen double cheeseburgers, chicken strip baskets and sexually transmitted diseases. Those who don’t eat meat for religious reasons subsist completely on milk (and milk alone).

In late 2005, it was proposed by the Provincial Government that Surrey be re-zoned as "de-militarized." This plan was abandoned, however, since de-militarizing the area would result in bulldozing the entire northern half of the city, due to it being the suburban equivalent of a minefield. In the same vein, top Canadian military brass had oft argued against de-militarization on the grounds that the only thing keeping the United States from storming the border in its ongoing war on drugs (in order to demolish the world's largest grow-op: British Columbia) is Surrey.

Grand Theft Auto: Surrey

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The density of Honda Civics to people in Surrey is currently higher than that of anywhere else on the planet. The rate at which Surrey accumulates Honda Civics is increasing exponentially as car theft rates continue to increase. Furthermore, the overabundance of stolen Honda Civics lying around in the streets further encourages the theft of more Honda Civics, as they are readily available. It is proposed that the projected 2010 rates of Honda Civic thefts will be several hundred times its current value and that anyone visiting Vancouver’s lower mainland for the 2010 Winter Olympics (known to the local population as “the **** hitting the fan”) will spontaneously grow several Honda Civics that will then be subsequently stolen in order to fill the massive stolen car vacuum. 70 % of the Surrey population has appeared on BaitCar.com. In fact, most new cars sold in Surrey are automatically programmed to lock their doors upon ignition and drive to the nearest police station for delivery.

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In addition to cars, other vehicles that have been stolen in Surrey include, but are not limited to:

* Bikes

* Buses (I just stole the 321 to get to Dairy Queen!)

* The SkyTrain ("Boo, bee, bii. The next station is: My House!")

* Segways

* People

Theft is such a ubiquitous element of Surrey life that the very concept of possession has been all but forgotten. All resources are considered publicly accessible and anyone who refuses to share simply has their property stolen until they learn to casually steal and abandon stuff like everyone else. Communists have hailed Surrey as the world's first truly communal society.

Festivals

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The only festival currently celebrated in Surrey is 420, observed on April 21 (due to reasons not fully understood, Surrey exists one day ahead of the world; this may explain the population's proficiency with theft). Until recent years, Canada Day was also celebrated, but considering the majority of Surrey's population either do not know the words to O Canada (due to the language barrier), or have been simply too intoxicated on previous statutory holidays to sing along, the holiday was abandoned.

Succession

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Surrey's reputation is so grand that it has actually become known even to Surrealists themselves. Because of this, several communities in Surrey have attempted to withdraw from the city and be recognized under separate names, including, but not limited to, Whalley (ironically, Whalley is the worst part of Surrey), Guildford (recognized for having a pretty okay shopping centre and library-recreation centre. Swimming at a library!), White Rock (where the old surreyites go to die), North Delta (in union with its neighbour South Epsilon), among several other breakaway republics.

Trivia

Quote:

* In 2002, Surrey was honoured with being named the car theft capital of North America.

* The city's current motto is "For the love of God, stay the **** out!"

* Surrey is also the source of the word "surreal", seeing as how if you ever visited, you'd not know you'd actually left the civilized world until far, far too late. Elephants with stork legs, the city mascots, also seem to be a factor. It is rumoured, however, that these creatures do not actually exist, but are merely the manifestation of the collective drug addled imagination of the city's inhabitants.

* An age old Surrealist adage: "Q: Where do Surrey girls go in the morning? A: Home."

* Like a really terrible scratch and sniff book, Surrey smells different every time you visit it.

* Surrey is not the name of a song by Peter Gabriel

* Is known as the City of Parks even though, the "parks" are just parking lots for druggies and skateborders.

* Surrey is home to the "Balcony Rapist," a serial rapist from Ontariuh who served his time in prison and now resides in the affluent neighborhood of Fraser Heights. Seeing as that area is full rich snobby nutsuckers, the "Balcony Rapist" is in the process of legally changing his superhero name to the "Basement Suite Rapist" (patent pending). ... And yes, that's a heads up for you Korean students. (You're welcome.)

08-29-2007, 06:28 PM	#3
jjgalea Bob Loblaw Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Phoenix Posts: 6,592	Ill be there on Friday - first time __________________ “It is one of the great paradoxes of the stock market that what seems too high usually goes higher and what seems too low usually goes lower.” - William O’Neil My blog on the stock market http://www.biggainshunters.com

08-29-2007, 06:30 PM	#4
01StangBanger Slow Stang Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada Posts: 18	don't go to Surrey if you do! Vancouver is awesome, you will have a blast there though! __________________ BDRA Member #86 Just a Canadian Chick with an 03 Termi & a deleted post count #42 on da list Alberta's Fastest Street Cars

08-29-2007, 06:43 PM	#5
ogc Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 3,503	yah haha Vancouver is my home town... Love that place. Besides everything else, it is a nice place to look at(except a few areas). you'll have a good time, and yah, the pot thing is completely true so if you smoke, you will definitely enjoy yourself. __________________ [IMG]http://www.****************/ims/u/1356/2001/76609.jpg[/IMG]

08-29-2007, 06:45 PM	#6
Ned Registered User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 3,110	fvck vancouver. and their shiitty olympics

08-29-2007, 07:09 PM

Sweetriverphil

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Join Date: Apr 2004

Location: Vancouver, WA

Posts: 24,386

Quote:

These similarities have led many to speculate that Vancouver, Washington and Vancouver, BC are really one and the same city, separated by thousands of years of time.

Vancouver, Wa represent.

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markstang

Its SRP. His life is like a british sitcom, with subtitles in french.

The Tao of Pong: Click for a movie!
The Tao of Pong 2: Havana Nights Click for another movie!

08-29-2007, 07:25 PM

Flyboy 06

Premium Member

Join Date: Aug 2006

Location: Malmstrom AFB

Posts: 10,788

I enjoyed that.

__________________

4,166 posts down the drain :meh:

Quote:

Originally Posted by OFF

Next up - secks with farm animals. I hear if you do them right on the edge of hayloft, they push back just like they want more.

08-29-2007, 07:45 PM	#9
Cobra Sheri www.sprayitracing.com Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Northern Cuba (aka Mijami), FL Posts: 1,651	Just came home from Vancouver. Stayed there for 3 days in the downtown area. Definetly different then Miami I must say. Here's to go with some of the trivia __________________ 2004 Mystichrome Cobra "Dammit the Sixth" (#1047 of #3768) 2003 Black Harley Davidson F-150 "Dammit the Fifth" (#4183) [COBRA KAI] #014 www.sprayitracing.com Last edited by Cobra Sheri : 08-29-2007 at 07:49 PM.

08-29-2007, 08:03 PM	#10
powerstroke01 Jeep ***** Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Oakhurst California Posts: 5,007+ Posts: 7,306	I love that city. __________________

08-29-2007, 08:18 PM

#11

Vince

:Pickle:

Join Date: Apr 2001

Location: Washington

Posts: 62,864

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetriverphil

Vancouver, Wa represent.

I'll be down there tomorrow.

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08-29-2007, 08:29 PM

#12

Sweetriverphil

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Join Date: Apr 2004

Location: Vancouver, WA

Posts: 24,386

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vince

I'll be down there tomorrow.

I'll be on the corner of 162nd ave and 18th street at the Chevron smoking and whoring myself

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markstang

Its SRP. His life is like a british sitcom, with subtitles in french.

The Tao of Pong: Click for a movie!
The Tao of Pong 2: Havana Nights Click for another movie!

08-29-2007, 08:32 PM	#13
Troy-Stangsaver I am the pwnage...Bitches Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Vancouver Canada Posts: 729+ Posts: 3,497	representin Surrey its funny are only Festival is 420 wow. BTW if you dont like hindu's DONT EVER COME TO SURREY any one u guys From Van see the new Canucks sweaters __________________ 07 Mustang gt troyleswick.com -729 posts Last edited by Troy-Stangsaver : 08-29-2007 at 08:34 PM.

08-29-2007, 08:40 PM

#14

01StangBanger

Slow Stang

Join Date: Sep 2004

Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Posts: 18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Troy-Stangsaver

representin Surrey

its funny are only Festival is 420 wow.

BTW if you dont like hindu's DONT EVER COME TO SURREY

any one u guys From Van see the new Canucks sweaters

That was awesome about the hindu's...

__________________
BDRA Member #86 Just a Canadian Chick with an 03 Termi & a deleted post count

#42 on da list Alberta's Fastest Street Cars

08-29-2007, 08:43 PM

#15

ogc

Registered User

Join Date: May 2002

Location: Canada

Posts: 3,503

Quote:

Originally Posted by Troy-Stangsaver

representin Surrey

its funny are only Festival is 420 wow.

BTW if you dont like hindu's DONT EVER COME TO SURREY

any one u guys From Van see the new Canucks sweaters

New for this season?

__________________
[IMG]http://www.****************/ims/u/1356/2001/76609.jpg[/IMG]

08-29-2007, 08:56 PM	#16
Troy-Stangsaver I am the pwnage...Bitches Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Vancouver Canada Posts: 729+ Posts: 3,497	Yup __________________ 07 Mustang gt troyleswick.com -729 posts

08-29-2007, 08:59 PM

#17

ogc

Registered User

Join Date: May 2002

Location: Canada

Posts: 3,503

Quote:

Originally Posted by Troy-Stangsaver

Yup

Just checked it out... they are pretty sweet, new symbol but it has a throwback feel to it as well.

Hopefully the canucks do well this year... Definitely my #1 team, its to bad I live in toronto though I never get to see them play.

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[IMG]http://www.****************/ims/u/1356/2001/76609.jpg[/IMG]

08-29-2007, 09:57 PM

#18

Vince

:Pickle:

Join Date: Apr 2001

Location: Washington

Posts: 62,864

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetriverphil

I'll be on the corner of 162nd ave and 18th street at the Chevron smoking and whoring myself

I'll be there...HAHA that use to be around where i use to live. i lived off of 39th and 162nd.

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08-29-2007, 09:59 PM

#19

Sweetriverphil

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Join Date: Apr 2004

Location: Vancouver, WA

Posts: 24,386

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vince

I'll be there...HAHA that use to be around where i use to live. i lived off of 39th and 162nd.

oh wow thats fvckin scary. I was off 28th...

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markstang

Its SRP. His life is like a british sitcom, with subtitles in french.

The Tao of Pong: Click for a movie!
The Tao of Pong 2: Havana Nights Click for another movie!

08-29-2007, 10:37 PM	#20
Troy-Stangsaver I am the pwnage...Bitches Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Vancouver Canada Posts: 729+ Posts: 3,497	www.vancouvermustangs.com __________________ 07 Mustang gt troyleswick.com -729 posts


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